Good Friday: Fitness Fever?

It is with a sad heart that I look down at my sagging stomach and say out loud 'something must be done!' and thus it will be.  Despite having owned a Nintendo WiiFit since Christmas, although I've toned up, I've lost naff all weight.  Maybe that's because I'm still eating like a peckish gannet, who knows?  Anyway, it's time and I'll never fit into my Levi's demi curve skinnies size w30/l34 if I continue along this vein, so it all starts today, which quite frankly is a bit silly because it's Easter Sunday in two days time - doh!

Today I embarked on another fitness scheme, dusted down my Davina McCall workout DVDs, put down the mats, donned the trainers and went for it.  It was hard though and try as I might, I can't lunge to save my life, nor can I carry out 'high knees' interval training as it isn't good for me and I've no intention of being pushed around in a wheelbarrow because I've busted my joints good and proper.  I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow with sore limbs, but I don't care.  I'm planning to watch a DVD in a minute and sup a latte, which isn't the best aerobic activity one could ever hope for, but with the Duke and the Earl out visiting the Dowager Duchess in London, I thought it a good use of time, esp as the Duke always asks me to summarise a plot of a film he's not been watching for the past 63 minutes! Men!  However, I think I'll watch My Best Friend's Wedding because we're singing the opening medley from it at choir and I wish to remind myself of it.  I can't say that personally I'm a fan of weddings or indeed wedding-themed films as my own nuptials were pretty spartan - the dress I wore was purchased from BHS, barely fitted (eek!) and ripped during extensive arm waving on the dance floor.

Sunday: Betterware and Phil Collins: Philrotica

'What a strange title for a post!' I've no doubt you'll say, but yes, it's displacement activity to be honest, I could be removing dust from the sitting room or chasing spiders out of the study couldn't I?  But once again, here I am, tap tap tapping away at my laptop wasting time.  Bad housewife!

Anyway: Betterware.  It's great isn't it?  Well, it's a catalogue packed full of things which appear useful, but in reality, probably are not.  Take for example, such things as pet gravestones.  Yes, I've no doubt that some people would find them invaluable and if say, you bury Tiddles in the garden after his demise, you'll be able to locate his exact internment slot just in case you say, move house or just want to exhume him once they've sorted cryogenic regeneration.  The best thing about it are the distributors - phwarrr!!!  The bloke who used to cover this area was stunning: hairy nicotine stained fingers, bad breath and double denim, so pretty much all of my top ten attributes in a life partner.

Finally: Phil Collins - he's amazing isn't he?  No?  Well, however you feel about the balding polymath I feel compelled to tell you about the wonderful blog philrotica - http://www.philrotica.com/  Do check it out, it's brilliant and I just wish that I'd written it, but if I had it wouldn't have been nearly as professional.  Apparently the great man will be releasing/has released a new album.  Hurrah. 

Sunday: rain and waterfowl

Yes, it's Britain and indeed, it's rained all frigging weekend.  Oh, what joy!  Hopefully I'll be able to jettison my Boden Rainy Day mac at some point this year, or maybe not?  It's depressing anyway.

My parents took me and the lad out to a park we haven't been to for ages, actually, I'd hazard a guess at it being at least a decade since I've moseyed through the gates.  It's lovely though and is located in a far superior postcode to my humble one.  They also seem to do quite a few wildlife walks, which is nice:

I love watching Herons? Actually, scratch that, I don't as they're the scourge of anybody with a pond full of fish.  How would you go about such an activity?  Stand on one leg whilst doing so?  Bizarre.

Apparently Canada Geese are a predator to the other wildlife in the park, so you're advised not to feed the blighters, but my word, aren't they aggressive and persistent?  The feathery buggers always chase the smaller wildfowl out of the way.  It reminds me of a time when my older brother was bitten on the bottom in St James's Park by an angry goose which had designs on his lunchtime sandwich.

Talking of ducks, I posed the following question to my Mother 'Why do Bromley's Parks have superior ducks to our own borough's stock and if so, does the council have a 'duck budget'?  If anybody knows the answer to this question, please could they contact me or leave a note on the comments section of the blog?

Finally, I always like to identify any water birds I see around and about and this handy rubric is just the ticket as far as I'm concerned.  My personal fave is the 'tufted duck' which sports an impressive head plumage reminiscent of the late, great Elvis Presley.  I seem to recall a Punt and Dennis sketch where they likened the Duck Billed Platypus to a 'sumo duck', so it always makes me smile. 

Friday: Scriptwriting workshop

Last night I attended a Scriptwriting Workshop in London to try and gain some inspiration to continue my writing career, which has now been dabbled with for the past three years without a great deal of success.  The ethos of the teaching was simple: just do it and we carried out quite a few exercises, such as the one I've pictured below:

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It was a direct record of a conversation I'd overheard on the anticlockwise Circle Line the self same evening.  In case you can't read it, which I imagine you cannot, it concludes with one bloke saying to another that the bedroom in the flat he used to rent contained the sum total of twenty two plug sockets.  Why on earth his friend was interested in this rather bizarre fact, I do not know, but he relayed it anyway.

The only other notable thing to say is that I was impressed by one of the other delegates stories: she was a chef and met up with her recent ex in a swish cafe in Soho to talk things over.  They were eating those large, posh Jammie Dodgers and she plunged her knife into the jam heart centre of the biscuit which caused her to utter 'that's what you've done to me' - he then responded by putting his arms around her and apparently they're back together.  I love hearing stories of that nature!

Monday: Spring is sprung(ing), crocuses and London Underground Design

Apparently Spring officially begins on March 1st, so there you go, the new season's begun.  Hurrah!  It's still cold though and I wish I'd worn a longer coat this morning because my poor middle was a little chilly.  Anyway, the crocuses are out and that's great, isn't it?  Here's a picture:

This piece of grass is just around the corner from all of the new streetworks which are currently taking place - I noticed this morning that they've replaced both of the benches which sit alongside the church and Asda.  I have often dubbed these benches 'tramptastic' because they've often got a well-refreshed gentleman (or lady) of the road sitting on them, which is nice for passers by, I'm sure you'll agree?

I have a new book to review, it's called London Underground By Design and although I've only had a little flickette through it so far I can tell that I'll love it.  It contains loads of images including my favourite: cross sections of stations.  I was only saying to my husband, The Duke, yesterday that I'd love to see a cut away image of Bank Station in London because of the sheer complexity of the civil engineering. 

Talking of tubes, which I think I'm entitled to because a) it's my blog and b) it's a geeky one, I ventured the full length eastwards of the Central Line on Saturday afternoon.  "Why did you do that?"  You may inquire and yes, you'd be well within your rights to do so, but hey ho. I journeyed from Tottenham Court Road (which is still very much in transition due to the continuing Crossrail Project) to Epping.  I guess that most parts of suburbia look very similar, but it was nice to see how rural it was.  I've often wanted to travel on the restored Epping to Ongar section of the line because it sounds fascinating and I'm intrigued by closed sections of lines.  Apparently Ongar Station used to house a rare form of scorpions, but I read that years ago and will have to investigate further.